Family and Friends
Supporting someone with chronic pain can be difficult. You want to help, but sometimes it can be hard to know what to say or do. Understanding chronic pain can help you provide support without unintentionally making things harder.
TIPS FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS
Don't Minimize the Pain
Chronic pain is real. Avoid suggesting that the person should simply "get over it" or that the pain is all in their head. Learn about pain to better understand what the person is experiencing, including why pain can persist even after an injury or illness has healed.
Help — But Don't Coddle
Support independence whenever possible. Doing everything for someone can unintentionally reinforce the idea that they are unable to do things for themselves. Encourage appropriate activity and active self-management.
Don't Let Pain Dominate Every Conversation
Make room for conversations about things other than pain. Talk about hobbies, family, movies, sports, plans, or other enjoyable and meaningful topics instead of continually monitoring symptoms.
Recognize Unhelpful Pain Behaviors
Some behaviors can unintentionally reinforce the pain experience or encourage avoidance. Try to remain neutral rather than criticizing or rewarding these behaviors. Focus instead on supporting healthy, constructive responses.
Encourage Enjoyable Activities
Help create opportunities for distraction and connection. A board game, movie, conversation, favorite activity, or an appropriately paced walk can help shift attention away from pain.
Encourage Activity — With Flexibility
Support physical activity using moderation, pacing, and appropriate modification. The goal is to help the person gradually participate in more meaningful activities without turning every activity into a test of how much pain they can tolerate.
Reinforce Healthy Behaviors
Encourage behaviors that support overall well-being, such as improving sleep, managing stress, challenging unhelpful thoughts and beliefs, exercising regularly, eating well, and avoiding tobacco.
Celebrate the Wins
Notice and celebrate positive changes. Progress may be small at first, but every step toward greater activity, confidence, independence, or participation is worth recognizing.
SUPPORT WITHOUT MAKING PAIN THE CENTER OF LIFE
One of the most helpful things you can do is encourage the person to build a life that is bigger than their pain. That doesn't mean ignoring pain or pretending everything is fine. It means supporting meaningful activity, independence, connection, and the things that make life worth living.
LEARN MORE ABOUT CHRONIC PAIN
The Chronic Pain Champions Starter Guide provides an introduction to chronic pain and practical concepts that may help family members and friends better understand what their loved one is experiencing.
EXPLORE THE CHRONIC PAIN CHAMPIONS STARTER GUIDE →You don't have to understand everything about chronic pain to be supportive. Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is listen, encourage, and help someone keep moving toward a meaningful life.
All information is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Use at your own risk.
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