It’s common for patients to talk about pain levels and treatments with family and friends. Although talking about pain can help us validate our experience, it can actually worsen our symptoms by adding more attention to the pain.

You can’t make positive steps in your life when surrounded by negativity 
Stay away from people who only want to complain about pain, and avoid sharing the pain with others unless there is a positive goal associated with the conversation. Talk instead about things you enjoy and find meaningful. Fill your life with joy and hope!

It’s natural for people to ask about the pain, but you have the power to change the discussion. Thank them for asking but explain that you’d rather focus on something else. Suggest a more life-affirming topic of conversation.

I choose not to talk about the chronic pain I feel to myself or with others, including my doctors (unless there is a new symptom that needs acute treatment).

Learn more

• Should You Stop Talking About Your Pain? (Dr. Evan Parks)
• Reducing Pain Talk: Coping with Pain Series (Institute for Chronic Pain)

"Pain is physical AND emotional 100% of the time."
​- Dr. Rachel Zoffness

Pain is an experience with biopsychosocial factors, including our emotions.

Often times, people living with chronic pain can become angry and less thankful. There may even be some perceived misjustice, as was in my case.
 
It can be helpful to let go of the unpleasant emotions like anger, unappreciation, and blame as they can negatively affect the chronic pain experience, disrupt relationships, and worsen our symptoms – turning up the pain volume.
 
While being forgiving, kind, and grateful won’t magically make the pain disappear; they can help lessen the pain and suffering, foster better health, build self-efficacy, and make life more enjoyable.
 
Learn more and learn how

• The power of forgiveness (3:28)
• 13 Most Popular Gratitude Exercises & Activities
• A Grateful Day with Brother David Steindl-Rast (5:22)
• How to Forgive Someone Who Traumatized You 
• Your 5-day gratitude challenge: 5 exercises to increase your gratefulness
• How to Forgive in Six Steps
• Jack Kornfield: 12 Principles of Forgiveness (13:42)
• The power of forgiveness (3:28) - I saw this while as a patient at the Mayo Clinic Pain Rehabilitation Center
• A Grateful Day with Brother David Steindl-Rast (5:22)
• How to let anger out | Thich Nhat Hanh answers questions (9:18) - listen to what he tells a little girl how to deal with anger
• Taking the Steps to Forgive Yourself
• Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness
• Control anger before it controls you
• 10-minute meditation: Loving kindness (10:07)
• Practicing Gratitude Is More Important Now Than Ever
• Your 5-day gratitude challenge: 5 exercises to increase your gratefulness
• How Cognitive Control Can Boost Well-Being
• Positive thinking: Stop negative self-talk to reduce stress
• Doing What Matters in Times of Stress: An Illustrated Guide
• The Pain Management Workbook - A book authored by Dr. Rachel Zoffness based upon Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ​

 
Read the research

• Forgiveness is an emotion-focused coping strategy that can reduce health risks and promote health resilience: theory, review, and hypotheses
• Forgiveness and chronic pain: a systematic review
• Forgiveness and chronic low back pain: a preliminary study examining the relationship of forgiveness to pain, anger, and psychological distress
• Associations between anger and chronic primary pain: a systematic review and meta-analysis
• Loving-kindness meditation for chronic low back pain: results from a pilot trial